i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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