and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
