3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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