Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize