so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize