Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
