Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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