Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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