You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
