...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
