I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
