Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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