Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
