carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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