I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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