Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
