He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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