Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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