You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
