What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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