i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
