her vagine was all disorganized.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
