also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
