dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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