Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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