I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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