oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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