the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
