wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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