how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
