I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
