I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
