we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
