So drunk its hurt
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
