i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
