belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Randomize
