i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize