I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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