let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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