sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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