this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize