my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
