Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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