Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize