she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
