so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize