Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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