Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize