Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
