Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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