Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize