All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
