She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Everyone says I win the strip club
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
