Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
