so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
