No awkward lesbian experiences without me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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