Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
