i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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