i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize