its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
