Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
