if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
