yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my shit smells like andre
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
