Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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