Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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