put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
