I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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