It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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