DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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