girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize