fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
