so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
